Running on Empty

The Inevitable Crash of an Overcommitted Life

Have you ever felt like you're stretching yourself too thin?

Like there are too many obligations and not enough of you to go around?

If so, you're not alone. I've been there, and I know how it feels when your desire to be everything to everyone leads to a schedule so packed it's suffocating.

In my journey, I've learned that overcommitment is more than just a packed schedule - it's a mindset, a trap that we fall into when we feel the need to constantly prove our worth.

We take on more tasks, say 'yes' to more people, only to end up feeling burnt out and drained. It's a vicious cycle that often stems from an innocent need to feel valued and seen.

But the cost is high.

Overcommitment leads to burnout, a state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion caused by prolonged stress.

It happens when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands. And let me tell you, it's a dark place to be.

This was a lesson I learned the hard way.

Balancing a production business and a music consulting company, I was spread so thin that I was barely meeting deadlines.

Despite this, I took on more tasks, working late into the night, sacrificing relaxation and self-care. I was running on empty, and it wasn't long before I hit a wall.

The toll it took on my health, relationships, and work was a wake-up call. It made me realize that being 'busy' isn't a badge of honor.

The constant grind, the hustle culture we're often sold, is not sustainable.

It's not about how many hours you can work, but about working smart, taking care of your mental health, and setting boundaries.

I learned to value myself, my work, and my time without needing validation from others. I learned to say 'no', to prioritize, to delegate. I stopped trying to be the 'savior', stopped trying to do everything. And instead, I started focusing on what truly mattered.

This shift wasn't easy. It took time, introspection, and a lot of unlearning. But it was worth it. Today, I operate from a solid foundation. I'm more mindful of my schedule, making sure to carve out time for rest and relaxation, instead of filling every moment with tasks.

I want to share this journey with you because I believe it's an important conversation to have. Overcommitment is a common trap many of us fall into, often without realizing it. And it's high time we started talking about it.

Personal Reflections and Lessons

Reflecting on my journey, I realize that my struggle with overcommitment was a symptom of a deeper issue. It wasn't just about trying to please others or proving my worth. It was about not valuing myself enough to prioritize my own needs. I was trying to fill a void within myself by overextending myself to others.

However, this only led to more stress, anxiety, and ultimately, burnout.

I learned the hard way that neglecting my own needs was not sustainable. It was a vicious cycle that kept repeating until I decided to break it.

One of the most important lessons I've learned is the power of saying "no". Saying "no" to others often means saying "yes" to ourselves. It means giving ourselves the time and space we need to recharge, to focus on our own goals, and to take care of our mental health.

I also learned the importance of setting boundaries.

This was difficult at first, especially as someone who always wants to help others. However, I realized that setting boundaries was not about being selfish or uncaring. Instead, it was about protecting my own energy and well-being.

Strategies for Stopping Over-Commitment

If you're struggling with overcommitment, know that you're not alone. Many people, including myself, have faced this issue. The good news is that there are strategies you can use to manage it and overcome it like I did, here’s what helped me:

Prioritize What’s Important:

Not all tasks are created equal. Identify which ones are most important and focus on those first. This goes beyond P1, P2, P3, P4. Create a list of tasks that are pulling your focus. When you look at this list, you should immediately sense which items require your urgent attention. This approach helps you gain clarity without turning prioritization into a complex task that prevents progress or gets you lost in details.

Learn to Say "No":

This can be difficult, especially if you're a people-pleaser. Remember that every time you say "yes" to something, you're potentially saying "no" to something else—including your own self-care. We all have the same amount of time in the day, so start defending yours for what matters to you and how you want to spend your energy.

Set Boundaries:

Make it clear to others what you are and are not willing to do. This helps prevent misunderstandings and resentment. Boundaries are healthy—don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You need to know your limitations and put safeguards in place to keep your mental fortitude strong.

Practice self-care:

Make time for activities that help you relax and recharge. This can include meditation, exercise, or simply spending time alone. This is crucial but often overlooked, especially with hustle culture telling you that if you're not grinding yourself to a pulp, you're not really working. I think this is the most destructive mindset in the industry.

You need to take calculated moments of rest and repose to have the staying power to pursue your goals day after day. Taking time to rest—whether it's active rest like a long walk or bike ride rather than sleeping or napping—can be exactly what you need to break the monotony of the daily grind and keep your mental reserves high.

Remember, it's okay to put yourself first. In fact, it's vital. You can't pour from an empty cup, so make sure to take care of yourself. By managing your commitments and taking care of your mental health, you can prevent burnout and live a more balanced and fulfilling life.

I hope that sharing my experience can help others who may be struggling with overcommitment. It's a difficult issue to tackle, but with awareness and the right strategies and some one to talk to, it's possible to overcome it.

Remember, you are not alone in this.

Let's continue this conversation and support each other in our journeys.

Have you ever found yourself over-committing?

What were your experiences?

How did you manage to break free?

Let's share, learn, and grow together.